[insert inspirational title]

One of the most beautiful works of God is how he gently strips away the layers of pride, of hurt, of loneliness, bitterness, of hard heartedness, doubt, fill in the blank. It is nothing but a breathtaking picture of the sacrifice and sanctity of Christ. But it hurts. It hurts to recognize how much of you is not of Him. And I know that I convince myself that it's okay because of things that have happened to me in the past. I tend to justify an attitude of the world, or an action made with no love.
I often see myself in the stainless white clothes that He so generously places upon my filthy shoulders. But then I remember, how tainted I was before. It is just a really difficult concept for me to grasp; that a Savior could bear to love such a blemished human. It's been weighing on me for sometime now. And because I have struggled to accept it, I've then struggled to give the same love to others. I wish I could consistently let go of my stubborn self, and just drench my thirsty heart in the love of Christ. Key word, consistently. I have horrible habits of making 'one time' submissions, or 'one time' confessions, etc.. I suppose an excuse I use in hopes to make myself feel better, is the excuse that I had to grow up. I had no choice, I just had to grow up. And much quicker than I would have liked. I was thrown into the real world and because of that, my independence that I so proudly held became a sin. I didn't need anyone's help, I could do it on my own. I was strong enough, I could carry it. That's another layer He is removing. And it is painful.
And then there's grace. The undeserved gift, abounding in every direction, in it's purest form.
I will always have a constant emotional or physical reminder of my inadequacy. But those scars, wherever they are, to their deepest core or surfaced appearance are proof that He loves me. He loves me enough to wash me new every morning. To saturate me in His grace. To envelope me in His love. Something that I see, as a blessing that my mind cannot comprehend the vast love that He has for me.
that's just for now...