nodnaba

"The call to abandon the attachments of this world" -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

As I read this and then began to evaluate my life, things that I never viewed as attachments quickly became things that would cause me to think twice, or things or people I would miss. I didn't expect the 'attachments of this world' to be a family that is already broken, or the comfort of a familiar place, a language that I understand, unique friendships…

I never considered myself scared to live a radical life. If I was afraid of anything, it was the repercussions of relationships with specific people in my life; of their thoughts, of so-called 'bonds' being broken. It has never provoked me to make a wrong decision concerning the furtherance of the gospel, but it has caused me to think twice. Because, even though most of these [to love the least of these- oh how I desperately need Jesus for this] do not know the Father, I still feel a need to please them [is this making sense?] So, it strikes me that while dissecting my life and what I would consider to be an attachment of this world-some of my answers have been some of my most difficult times. Is it possible that I haven’t accepted that the Father is bigger, that His name is more urgent than to mend an earthly tie? But the world, even the some in the church, would direct me to pursue to fix this before going to live a radical life. So this begs the question in my mind “Is it ok to leave something that I desire to be healed, and instead to just go? Go as I am lead. Do as I am directed. All for the sake of Christ’s name.” Because at the end of this, it is not myself, or those who I come in contact with that should be a hindering factor in my submission to the Father. But that’s a fine line to walk on; trying to be respectful and honoring those here, while desperately seeking and physically following the Spirit.

“Jesus is no longer one to be accepted or invited in but one who is infinitely worthy of our immediate and total surrender.” David Platt “Radical”

Clinching my hands as I beg to serve Him.